Letter to the editor

Love is the unexplainable word that can either torture us or torture us to mere insanity. Going from experiencing true love for the first five years of my adult life to questioning why I ever felt that way in the first place is in fact a question that has no answer. Is there anyone who knows how you are supposed to feel or how it is supposed to find you? I do not believe so. Dating someone for five years can help you learn a lot on this topic that cannot help but to keep people from sleeping and eating. Love is something I tend to know and have a great deal of passion for. I use my experiences to help other young adults understand their own personal situations. My experiences are a gift to those in need of direction.

​Often I am confronted by friends and friends of friends to give insight about their "love" situations. After hearing their deliberation on what it is that is happening in the relationship I give my verdict. Being blunt and truthful is the first of many steps in helping someone understand their own situation that has blinded them. Whether it is the common "I don't know what to do?" or the "We say I love you after three dates!" I know exactly what direction to guide them to. The ultimate goal everyone wants is to be loved, of course, but the real goal is to make love last. I give advice on not how to find love but how to make it grow within two people.

​They say, "Better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all." I could not agree more with this phrase by Alfred Lord Tennyson's poem In Memoriam: 27. Having this exact experience in my life helps me diagnose people by understanding what they believe love, in all its forms, to be. Understanding people in general helps to understand love and its never ending meanings. The passion I have for this topic gives me confidence in helping people who are blinded by what is really happening in their relationship. People sometimes say that love has many forms, and in some cases I agree. The love that everyone ultimately wants has definite key elements.

Initial attraction to the person is what gathers the sticks. It is perfectly normal to approach someone just because you may think they are attractive. This is how nature intended it to be between two people looking for love. Understanding that there is some form of compatibility with each other lights the match. This process is crucial because you cannot force love. People often confuse love for a deep infatuation just because there are certain things you may like about someone that attracted you to them in the first place. People often give too much of themselves too early in a relationship, which can damage the learning process of each other for the future. No one wants to get bored three months into the relationship. If this feeling has been felt on more than one occasion, then it may be time to move on. Learning about each other over a period of time is what starts the fire. People cannot be afraid to open up. Honesty, passion and faithfulness are what help keep the fire going. Also, learning from each other's mistakes and taking the course to fix them together is what can help keep that flame lit. In other words, communication between two people has to happen. Otherwise, it is a lost cause.

​Love was naturally created for duration and longevity. If taken for granted, love can escape anyone anytime. Some people question my opinions by asking, "If you know what love is, why did your love not last?" It is perfectly normal and okay for people to fall out of love. Such is life, they say. Experiences will help people grow to ultimately help them wean out the bad and stick with the good. My advice is how to keep the flame lit. It is how to understand that there are certain steps that should naturally combine within two people for the relationship to be a success. In the end, I am only an opinion. People will have to decide for themselves on what to do when they think they are in love. As long as people are willing to let love in people will be willing to keep the feeling of love within. Love is beautiful. Love is a gift. Love is bliss. Take the butterflies inside and let them carry you away because there is no better high in life than to have the feeling of love.