“9” short of a ten

Shane Acker's "9," based on his Academy Award-nominated short film of the same name, is one of the longest 79-minute movies I have ever seen. It is truly astounding how a film with so much action and business on the screen can be so utterly boring.


The main problem here is the screenplay. The plot of "9" sounds interesting: A group of ragtag rag dolls, all numerically named, fight evil robots in a post-apocalyptic alternate reality. While it would initially appear that the rag dolls (a term that doesn't quite seem to fit, but the English language limits me here) are all working together to destroy evil, some of them may have ulterior motives, thus providing conflict and, voila, you have a movie.


What shocked me about "9" was how with such a unique and intriguing setup, the movie couldn't be more conventional. The dialogue was all generic action movie speak – short, monosyllabic utterances to bridge the gap between one action scene and the next. While the action scenes themselves were occasionally mesmerizing with inspired animation, those short moments of brilliance were overshadowed by long, laborious set pieces of chaotic movement with no real sense of direction or purpose. There was a lot of motion and noise, but I couldn't bring myself to care about any of it.


Before writing this review, I looked up the original short film on YouTube and watched it for comparison. It is 11 minutes long, and the plot is essentially the same, albeit with most of what happens in the feature film implied rather than shown. It focuses only on the characters 9 and 5, and it is blissfully dialogue-free.


 Short films have, in the past, often been adapted successfully into feature films – "Bottle Rocket," "Sin City" and "Sling Blade," just to name a few. Even "Boogie Nights," a feature that clocks in at 155 minutes, has its origins in a short film.


 It's a pity that at 79 minutes, "9" was an overly long and laborious effort that lacked any imagination past its initial premise. While the feature is more or less completely disposable, I urge any of you interested in seeing it to look up the original short film on YouTube. It's a perfect example of how no exposition at all can help a story and, ultimately, create a much more moving experience.