The Student Printz

Issue date: 2/19/08 Section: Features

Media Credit: Jay Keywood Lydia Wooten, a USM graduate, gazes at her groom, Justin Russell, a senior from Brookhaven, on December 14, 2007 at Mt. Zion Baptist church in Brookhaven. Many couples get engaged over Valentines Day and are starting to plan weddings.

You are planning the day of your dreams- your wedding day.

It may be the first time you and your husband-to-be collaborate on a major event and you both want it to be perfect. And it should be because it is the beginning of your life together.

There is a lot to deal with and a lot to think about. Emotions may run away with each of you before you walk down the aisle to exchange rings because you are overloaded with "do this" and "don't do that" tips from everyone around you.

To help you get through all the preparations, the Founder's Inn in Virginia Beach, Va., put together a "wedding do's and don'ts" list. With these tips in mind, you can keep your cool and enjoy the day you've always dreamed about.

DO

- Hire a wedding coordinator. Brides often make the mistake of giving the job of wedding coordinator to a close friend or family member. Loved ones are eager to help, but it can all go out the window on your wedding day because your coordinator is caught up in her own preparation matters. They may also be already down the aisle as a member of the wedding party or guest.

The dress that needs fluffing and the makeup that needs finishing touches should not become the bride's responsibility. Today's coordinators offer a variety of packages to fit most every budget and most include a "day of" package. It also allows your family and friends to escape the stress and enjoy the festivities.

- Start a file. Once you are engaged, buy several magazines, spend time online and start an accordion folder of likes and dislikes. This gives your coordinator a great visual idea of your dream wedding.

- Seek out the best deal. Once you decide on your wedding gown and bridesmaid's dresses, search the Internet for all locations where they are sold. Do price comparisons and travel to the winning location.

- Think about the future. Consider choosing "wear-again" bridesmaid's dresses and shoes. Your attendants will appreciate being able to get more use for their money.

- Buy welcome gifts. Create welcome gifts for the out-of-town guests. They can be unique to the area or in line with your wedding theme. Let them know how much you appreciate their efforts.

- Pay attention to photography details. Discuss any family challenges with your photographer. For example, divorced parents, depending on their current relationship, may be uncomfortable posing for a photo with their arms around each other's waists. Make the photographer aware of ongoing sibling rivalries. Discuss anyone with special needs such as lderly or handicapped people whom will need a little more attention.

- Guide your guests. With a religious ceremony, if many guests
will be of another faith, it may be wise to provide a program explaining the ceremony, as well as the words of prayer hymns.

- Make it your time. Plan the day for yourself, not for others. Get the groom involved because it is his wedding, too.

- Order two bouquets. Have the florist make a smaller version of your bouquet. Use that one to toss at the reception, and keep the larger as a memento. Research a local florist or business that can dry the bouquet, frame it and put it under glass for you to keep on display in your home.

DON'T

- Listen to everybody's (and their mother's) advice. Listen patiently and let them know you appreciate their advice. Ultimately, make your own decisions.

- Leave guests waiting. Do not let too much time lapse between when the perception begins and the bridal party arrives. Guests get bored and may drink too much. Take photographs before the ceremony or at the reception to avoid a delay.

- Choose the date first. Decide the season you would like to get married in. Check with your church, if you are having a church wedding, and with your reception site. Then decide on your wedding date. If you and your fiancé want, for instance, to get married on the same day you met, that may be your ideal. But practically speaking, it is best to find the reception site first. Most reception sites are booked at least a year in advance and sometimes longer during the peak wedding months of April through October. Also, provide an accurate number of guests; that number can open or close certain venues.

- Skip the seating plan. Unless you are having a cocktail reception with hors d'oeuvres, a seating plan is imperative. Many guests feel uncomfortable without assigned seating. Seat older guests away from the source of any loud music.

- Be impatient with small children. Let children get comfortable with their duties. Have the flower girl pretend to throw flowers, and have the ring bearer actually hold the pillow with a ring on it. There are children's books that explain their roles. Assign an adult member of the bridal party to stand by the children, preferably someone the child is familiar with. This adult can watch the child throughout the ceremony.

- Put inappropriate items in your wedding invitation. Avoid including coupons for hotels or rental car agencies, a note explaining where the bride is registered or a note stating that cash gifts are appreciated. A wedding invitation gives guests information they need it should not be an advertising medium!

- Take only color photos. Request some black and white photos, which often better express the timeless nature of the event and of love itself.

- Forget the officiate. Invite the minister, rabbi or justice of the peace to your reception.

- Use vague words on your invitation. If you are having your ceremony in a location other than your reception location, list the start time of the reception. Do not put "immediately following the ceremony" on the invitation; people may arrive too early or too late without that specific start time.

- Fret too much. Do not get so caught up in the small details that you lose sight of the beauty of your wedding day. As they say, "Don't sweat the small stuff."

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