One of the best parts is slipping away

Back in my day, about 10 years ago, Halloween was a holiday for children to dress up as their favorite cartoon characters and parade around the neighborhood to get treats from neighbors. That was it, and all was well.

I was always a vampire. I suppose my family sort of assumed that all vampires were white, so I always wore white face paint to go with my plastic, glow-in-the-dark fangs and my long, black cape. (I always hated the cape, as I was a clumsy youth and often tripped over it, but the fangs were my favorite.) These plus a white collared shirt and black slacks completed my costume. Back then, at least to the old lady around the corner, I was “the cutest vampire ever!”

The sanctity of a day that I held near and dear for so long is being violated by an idea that pervades society today: sex sells.  If you need proof, go to any of the approximately 278 Halloween stores that pop up around Hattiesburg this time of year. I’ll wait. Are you back? What did you see? I’ll tell you what you saw, because I know you didn’t go to a Halloween store in that time. You saw girls, maybe your friends, classmates or maybe even your own girlfriend trying on a sexy angel costume. You probably also saw their boyfriends waiting, likely bored, as they did so.

Don’t get me wrong. Some men’s costumes follow these same standards. I saw a guy this past weekend with a Breathalyzer costume on. It had the words “Blow Me” on it, with an arrow pointing down to a tube hiding the guy’s junk was. Last year I was at a party with a young man wearing nothing but a loincloth. What was this young man’s costume supposed to be? I do not know. I was preoccupied with trying to avoid finding out whether he had anything on under that loincloth.

I guess what I really want to say is that I miss old the Halloween. People made costumes from scratch and some were very creative. I want to see that again. I want to see people who put some time and elbow grease into their costume.

Instead of putting money into the pockets of some rich person who owns a Halloween store, buy some beer and use stuff you have lying around the house for a free costume (bedsheet = ghost).  

I guess what I want – no, what I wish for this Halloween, is for you to put a lot of thought into your costume instead of a lot of money.

Oh, I also want you to carry around candy as well.