Rodman moonlights as int’l maverick

In late February, pot-stirrer personality and former NBA player Dennis Rodman took a trip to North Korea. Yes, this is the same North Korea that wants to blow us up with nuclear weapons. We spring break in Destin, he spring breaks in North Korea. To each his own. 

Rodman became the first high-profile American to meet the 28-year-old (or 29 or 30-year-old, no one really knows) North Korean dictator Kim Jong Un since he came to power in 2011. Kim follows in his father’s and grandfather’s footsteps as the communist dictator of North Korea. 

Rodman and Kim looked chummy as they watched an exhibition basketball game of the Harlem Globetrotters mixed in with some North Korean players that ended in a 110-110 tie (wisely so). Afterwards, they celebrated with a large feast and plenty of drinks to go around. Meanwhile in the rest of North Korea, the overwhelming majority of the population is starving. 

The United States Department of State was quick to distance itself from Rodman’s excursion and say that the trip was not in conjunction with any type of American diplomacy. 

While Rodman has said that he does not condone some of Kim’s actions as far as abusing and starving his people and putting them in prison camps, he did say that in him Kim has a “friend for life.”

At this point Rodman and Kim Jong Un probably have matching BFF necklaces that were hand chiseled by North Korean prisoners. I wonder how they looked compared to the quality of BFF necklaces at Claire’s from the ‘90s? 

Rodman reportedly believes that Kim Jong Un doesn’t want to start a war; he just wants a phone call from President Obama. He personally suggests that they talk about basketball, a common interest between the two. Basically, the future of our South Korean friends and possibly the United States should be invested in a rubber ball and a hoop.

The next stop on the Dennis Rodman tour of world peace and diplomacy, sponsored by an Irish gambling site, was Vatican City, where he attempted to influence the papal conclave. 

Rodman plans to return to North Korea and his bromance with Kim Jong Un in August to “figure out what’s going on over there.” Who runs the world? Dennis Rodman.