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You want to secede? I dare you...

Published: Thursday, November 15, 2012

Updated: Thursday, November 15, 2012 01:11

 

Barack Obama won a second term as president of the United States of America. What’s the next rational step? Secede from the union, right? According to petitions in all 50 states, people are legitimately considering such an option. An online petition in Texas has received more than 90,000 signatures, while one in Louisiana approached 34,000 as of late Wednesday night, according to the White House’s website.

Enter Mississippi; the birthplace of American music is also participating in the online petition, which has more than 15,000 signatures. It should be noted that no official state government has formally declared or spoken intent to secede from the U.S. Instead, people of this great nation have ignorantly opined.

Your humble news editor will be the first to admit his disappointment with the turnout of the election. When the election was called, I had all of The Frat House alcohol at my disposal to induce a four-day coma, but instead, I took the high road and slept away my sorrows.

For those who want to flee to Canada, if, after subjecting yourself to a Canadian citizenship test, a national health-care system (also known as Obamacare on crack), legalized marijuana and gay marriage you still want to move across the border, then realize most conservatives do not want you in America anyway.

Barely a week after the election, the petitions to secede gained popularity. What would it look like if such states as Mississippi, Alabama, Kentucky, Texas and South Carolina seceded from the union? The history books have covered it; a little thing called the Civil War comes to mind. At face value, the idea to secede again seems comical, but it is no laughing matter. For those who seriously humor the idea of seceding, are you willing to have a war between the states? Are you willing to kill your brother (metaphorically speaking, of course)? Do you have the means to protect you and your family against potential murderers and looters?

Hypothetically, what if the U.S. government allowed states to peacefully secede?

Texas would not have a problem. Of the 50 states petitioning the government, Texas is the only one that stands a chance. Texas has one-quarter of the nation’s oil reserves. According to State Impact, a NPR reporting project, Texas leads the nation in natural gas production with 23 percent of the nation’s natural gas reserves, which accounts for 14.9 percent ($159.3 billion) of Texas’s gross state product; the state’s gross state product in 2011 was $1.332 trillion. If Texas were its own country, it would have the thirteenth highest gross domestic product in the world. Essentially, Texas also has its own army, which includes the Texas State Guard, Texas National Guard, Air Guard and Texas Rangers.

Mississippi, on the other hand, would run into some problems. It is the poorest state in the union, according to data released by the U.S. Census Bureau, with median income reaching only $36,919. Mississippi also has one of the nation’s worst education systems, along with highest obesity rate and the seventh-highest unemployment rate at 9.2 percent. These figures do not include money that the state receives from the federal government, including, but not limited to, Federal Emergency Management Agency dollars during natural disasters, entitlement programs such as Social Security, Medicare and Medicaid and funds for highways and roads. It is safe to say Mississippi would have a hard time surviving. Though Texas and other states receive these same federal benefits, it is evident that Mississippi is not prepared for an extreme action like secession.

Disclaimer: I love Mississippi. I’ve lived here my whole life. However, I’m stating facts.

In the end, most people will move on with their lives and find another outlet to express their exaggerations, but for now, continue to hear the stroke of pens as strangers, acquaintances and family members sign secession petitions.

Have a great life in Canada! Eh? 

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