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The moment so many have pined after and prayed for has finally come – and so very quickly passed.

“Gilmore Girls: A Year in the Life,” an amalgamation of everyone’s favorite Stars Hollow storylines and 2000s nostalgia paired with uncomfortably contemporary pop-culture references (I never want to think about a world in which Kirk even remotely understands the function of Uber) debuted Nov. 25 on Netflix, but it had crazed fans salivating for many, many months prior to its release.

Was I one of them?

Not quite.

Thanks to Facebook’s “memories” feature, I can remember precisely the moment I learned that Netflix would revive “Gilmore Girls.”

I can remember my immediate reaction, too.

Was I excited for the nostalgic return? Wistful for a time better left untouched? Afraid that plans would somehow fall through?

No, no and no.

I regret to admit that I never actually saw “Gilmore Girls” during its original 2000-2007 run. I didn’t watch it until the summer before my sophomore year – just about a year and a half ago, or right around the time it was announced the producers were working on a revival. In fact, I finished the final season roughly two days before news of the revival broke.

I had just made my peace with the end and accepted what I thought to be the inevitable conclusion. I had had a mini funeral in the dark recesses of my mind, resigned myself to sadness and moved on just before I was yanked back into Stars Hollow with a legion of fans who had had their distance and were eager to return.

So yes, I was happy to know there was more – but I wasn’t quite excited. I felt, for not the first time in my life, like an Emily in a world of Lorelais. In honor of the recent release, I want to take a closer look at this feeling and provide you with just a few reasons why I believe the oldest Gilmore Girl is infinitely the best and you should totally emulate her for the good of all mankind (except maybe not all at the same time because she is horrifyingly ruthless and the world is unprepared.)

1. She’s sassier than Joanne the Scammer at a fake friend brunch.Screen Shot 2016-12-01 at 12.05.32 AM

Emily never sacrifices her signature sass, even when she’s fed up with her daughter’s antics. Especially when she’s fed up with her daughter’s antics. Lorelai’s quick comebacks and quips had to come from somewhere, after all.

2. She’s so refined, the word “refined” doesn’t cover it.

Emily’s table manners leave absolutely nothing to be desired. And yet, there are times when even she must sacrifice etiquette to make a point (with her full reserve of sass, of course): “Well, then buy me a boa and drive me to Reno because I am open for business,” she famously tells a bewildered Richard when he tells her, “Only prostitutes have two glasses of wine at lunch.”

3. She’s wittingly and unwittingly hilarious.

“Hold on,” she tells Lorelai on the phone. “I’m looking up ‘aneurysm’ in our medical dictionary to see if I just had one.” Iconic.

4. She’s conniving, she’s cutthroat, she’s competitive.

Rory didn’t become an Ivy League wunderkind on her own – those Gilmore genes first, and probably most prevalently, arose in Emily, who has no problem using all the aforementioned qualities above to ensure that she gets ahead in life. And really – she, Lorelai and Rory all seem to be doing quite well for themselves so this is a good characteristic to have. Probably.


 

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